It is beauty that often makes women proud; it is virtue that makes them most admired …
William Shakespeare, Science and Spirituality, page 196
Today I wish to speak of a subject that is increasingly obvious to everyone, yet almost nobody seems willing to speak about it, especially from an ethical perspective. At least half of females, starting in middle school and extending to at least middle age, are now baring their breasts, and also in other ways advertising themselves as sex objects. I am sure that boys and men are in many cases as guilty as girls and women, because they encourage them to go in this direction and, in any case, they do not point out the risks of this behavior.
Sexuality is an important part of marriage, and it certainly is part of life in general, but for it to be displayed in the flagrant manner that is now rampant is a disgrace to the dignity of womanhood. The general standard, which this behavior indicates, is that it is quite alright for young people and adults to go to bed with each other without any commitment to marriage or the responsibilities it entails. This is wrong, and the consequences of making this choice can be devastating.
Let me give you an example of what I mean. A young woman I know well was going with a boy friend for a few years, and the relationship tapered off recently. When their going together ended, the young woman shortly found another boy friend, and within a month they went to bed with each other, and despite their attempt to use contraceptives a baby was conceived. Little if any time had been spent trying to find out if they were suited to be married or to take care of a child. This can leave a lifetime of embarrassment for the child and for the potential parents. It may end up with a one parent family.
Relationships take time to form, and there are many aspects of those relationships. The sexual part of getting to know each other needs to be gradual, as the couple gets to know the character and compatibility of the other. To make a public display of the sexual part of a relationship is make light of the moral and spiritual aspects of a potential marriage.
It is time to speak out in favor of cultivating the whole person, in which sexuality is a part but not the principal manifestation. Our organization used to have a group whose focus was “Spirituality, love, sexuality”. If we start by cultivating the moral and spiritual dimensions of a relationship, then developing a genuine love between the partners, and finally engaging in an honorable and meaningful sexuality, then we can have reason to expect that the relationship will last and be a happy marriage. Let’s get the order of these aspects of a relationship straight, and then there will be more integrity and more joy as couples learn to live together.
In the Spirit of Unity-and-Diversity!!!